piece of my mind

गुबार २

2010-03-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

१)
घर से तो निकले थे तेरी इबादत को हम
रस्ते में पर खुदा उनसे मुहब्बत हो गयी।

२)
महफ़िल में तेरी सब ने हमसे किये सवाल जवाब
साकी ने नाम तक न पूछा और जाम थमा दिया।

३)
या तो इस दुनिया की सुनो और मेरे दिल को तोड़ दो
या फिर तुम इस दुनिया की सुनना ही छोड़ दो
ये इश्क नहीं आसान इक आग का दरिया है
जलने का जो है डर तो इश्क करना छोड़ दो।

४)
तेरे दर पर आया तो जगह न मिली मुझको
खुदाया शुक्र है साकी का जो उसने पनाह दे दी।

gubaar

2010-03-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

1)
याद नहीं सूरत तेरी, सीरत तेरी पता नहीं
गँवा दिया मैंने बचपन, पर तेरी भी खता नहीं
कुछ भीगी भीगी हैं पलकें, दुनिया को ये बता रहीं
रो रहा है मेरा दिल…
माँ…आज याद तेरी सता रही.

2)
हम तो कब के सो गए होते…
इन अंधेरों में कहीं खो गए होते…
एक उनके आने की आस ने जगाये रक्खा है…
दहलीज़ पर हमने एक दिया जलाए रक्खा है.

3)
ताजगी फूलों सी, सादगी लहजे में छलके
जैसे मुट्ठी भर धूप सुबह की, आई हो पेड़ों से छन के
सिसके कभी तनहा, कभी भीड़ में किलकारी खनके
भर ले बाहों में कभी, कभी पट दे वो दरवाज़े मन के.

4)
पत्थर को पूजा उसने पर इंसा को मार डाला
बना तोह दी है मस्जिद, पर किसी का घर जला है डाला
हंस भी नहीं सकता मुस्तफा, मैं उसकी अक्ल पर…
मैं हूँ एक शराबी, वो धर्म का रखवाला.

5)
अपनी नादानी का मुझे आज एहसास होता है
पाके सबकुछ कोई कैसे उसे खोता है
मेरा तो जीवन तेरे ही नाम है पिया
जो तू नहीं संग तो साँसों का साथ भी कहीं खोता है
रूठ के चले गए तुम, मेरी एक न सुनी
फिर भी तुम्हें पुकार यह दिल यहाँ रोता है
जो आये तुम्हारे क़दमों की आहट तो लौट आये सांसें
आके इक बार तो देखो यह चमत्कार कैसे होता है.

6)
जाने उस मूरत में किसी ने क्या देखा
मैंने तो पत्थर पत्थर में बसा खुदा देखा
यही मज़हब है सिखाता तो मुस्तफा मैं काफिर ही सही
की तेरे दर को भी मैंने खून से सना देखा.

Chauraay

2010-03-13T04:46:00.001-08:00

Agar aap ko mere gaon aana hai, toh talla Nazeebabad se Kotdwar tak aane waali kisi bhi gaadi ke driver ko bol dijiye motadhaank , bas wo aapko sahi jagah utaar dega. Yatra ke dauran hone waale kasht ke liye main pehle se hi kshamapraarthee hun. Asal mein sadak ki haalat pehle itni buri nahin thi jitni aajkal ho gayi hai aur yeh sirf isiliye hai ki wahan sadak banayi ja rahi hai. Ji, maine bhi yahi suna hai ki State haaiwe chinhit kiya ja chuka hai aur jald hi is dhool dhusrit pathreele raaste ki jagah ek badhiya chamakdar raat si kaali aur makkhan si chikni sadak le legi jis par sabhi gaadiyan hawa se baatein karengi (aajakal to lagta hai jaise gaadi ka purza purza ik doosre se jirah kar raha ho!) Khair kaam chal raha hai aur iski nishaani hai ye road roller jo theek main Motadhank chauraay par pichhale saat maheenon se susta raha hai. Bhai is tarah ke vikas karyon mein waqt to lagta hi hai… ab ek din mein toh Rajiv ji ka sapna sach hoga nahin!
Waise Motadhank chauraay ki chaar pehchaan hai. Ek, ye mota sa dhank ka pedh…jispar na phal lagte hain na phool. Doosri yeh lambi si ek manzila peeli imarat. Ji nahin, yeh na sarkari gaushala hai aur na sarkari jail…yeh sarkari bachchon ki paudhshala hai, yani yahan ki primary pathshala, jahan is gaon ka bhavishya phalphool raha hai. Teesri pehchaan se toh main aapka pehle hi parichay karaa chukka hun…Sarkari haathi arthat road roller jo yahin primary ki deewar se satke aisa khada hai maano gaon ke sulphedi deewar ki ote mein sulpha bhar rahein ho. Lekin in teenon cheezon se jyada aham jo pehchaan hai hamare chauraay ki, ya yun kahiye ki Motadhank chauray ki jo shaan hai, woh hai Guddu baamani ki mithai ki dukaan. Road roller ke theek saamne, sadak ke doosri ore, ek chhoti si taat tirpal ki kutiya jismein Guddu Baamani garam chai, pakode aur bundle maachis bechte hain. Chai aur pakode sirf subah subah hi choolhe se garm utaare jaate hain, baki dinbhar toh unhein garm aur taza rakhna swayam surya dev ki jimmedari hoti hai. Kabhi kabhi koi anjaan rahgir bhatak jaaye toh guddu baamani us nadan par apne meethe prayog yani ki mithaiyyan bhi chipka dete hain…lekin galti se bhi aap unhein Guddu chai wala ya pakodi wala bolne ki bhool mat kijiyega. Apni shaan mein yeh gustakhi unse bardasht nahin hogi aur kahin dharm karm bhula ke who aapke kebab na bechne shuru kar dein. Guddu sweets ya GB sweets, aur bahut hua toh Guddu Mithai wala, bas in teenon naamon mein se kisi ek se alinkrit karne ke alawa kisi chauthey naam se unhein mat pukariyega, ye vinti nahin chetavni hai. (Baamni ka toh ba bhi bhool ke zubaan pen a aaye…jaati soochak shabd hai…Gaon waale bhi peeth peechhe hi bolte hain)
Khair…June ki is bheeshan garmee mein Motadhank chauraay pe sirf do waqt bheed hoti hai…ek subah 11 baje ke kareeb jab primary mein interval hota hai aur deeware taap taap ke humare gaon ke phool se bachche apni bhookh mitaane guddu ki dukaan pe aate hain. Kuch natkhat naunihaal, road roller ko apna jhoola banate hain toh kuchh dhurandharon ke liye Dhank ka pedh romanch ka sabab banta hai.
Doosri baar chauray par raunak aati hai sham ko 6 baje ke baad jab sooraj ke saath sath humare gaon ke mard apne kheton se waapas ghar ki ore laut rahe hote hain. Guddu baamani ki dukaan ke aage lage pattharon par jo mehfil sajti hai waisi toh sarpanch ke aangan mein bhi nahin lagti. Bas, iske alawa Motadhank chauray par sannata chhaya rehta hai…raat ko toh aap kabhi aayenge nahin kyunki us waqt koi gaadi nahin chalti, lekin agar badkismati se aap garmee aur loo jhhelte huye din mein kabhi humari chauraay par utare…toh sirf Guddu Baamni ke alawa, insaan kya aapko bhoot pishach farishtey bhi nazar nahin aayenge. Haan agar aap kuchh din pehle aate toh shayad laali nazar aa jaati.
Ab laali ka main kya parichay doon. Laali humare gaon ki panchayati kutiya thi. Mujhe galat mat samjhiyega, humare yahan auraton ko bahut maan samman diya jata hai aur aisa kuchh bhi nahin hai…laali asal mein ek mada shwaan thi, jo kisi ki paaltu nahin thi…aur jo kisi ka nahin hota woh sab ka hota hai…Laali bhi poore gaon ki thi, sab usko pyaar karte thay, bachche usay roti daalte thay, koi gwalan usay doodh pila deti thi, aur kayi baar toh maine laali ko baakkhal mein un sharabiyon ke Glasson mein moonh maarte huye bhi dekha tha….khair.
Gaon mein sab laali ko pasand karte thay…sirf ek Guddu Baamani ko chhod ke. Maine aaj tak usay kabhi laali ko chai pilaate…mera matlab pakodi ka ek tukda daalte nahin dekha tha (aur apni mithai na daalkar usne ehsaan hi kia laali par). Yahan tak ki uske saamne agar aap laali ko thodi si bachi hui pakodi de dete toh Guddu ji bigad jaate..yeh unki pak kala ki tauheen hai…woh jaanwaron ke liye nahin insaano ke liye khaana banate hain (toh kya jo usay jaanwar bhi ro ro ke khaaye)…aur toh aur aksar jab laali thodi si chhaon ke liye unki tirpal ki ote mein letati thi…toh maine Guddu ji ko uske oopar garam khaulta chai ka paanee daalte huye tak dekha hai. Kuttepane ki had yeh nahin toh aur kya hai!
Abhi chaar din pehle ki hi baat hai…sham ke 5 baj chuke thay, bachche primary se ghar ja chuke thay, sooraj devta abhi bhi tamtamaye huye thay aur apne kisaan bhai bhi kheton se laute nahin thay. Mujhe bhartee ka form lene Najibabad jaana tha. So main road roller par baitha gaadi ka intezar kar raha tha. Gazab ki garmee thi, Guddu bhaiyya bhi apni dukaan mein susta rahe thay…ya shayad usi samay jaage thay aur Chai ki ketali mein unhone paani garam karne rakha tha, bas. Itne mein kahin se bechari laali ghoomti ghaamti haanfti langdati aa gayi…who kuchh der toh road roller ki ote mein leti lekin fir uth ke waapis Guddu baamani ki dukaan ki ore badh gayi. Ab laali ko bhi na jaane kya shauk tha, hamesha bhagayi jaati, jalai jaati, peeti jaati, lekin ghoom ghaam ke usay chahiye hoti thi toh Guddu baamani ke tirpaal ki ote. Shayad usay bhi Guddu baamani ka khoon jalane mein mazaa aata tha. Agar who bol sakti toh main usse yeh sawal zaroor poochhta. Khair…maine sadak ki ore dekha aur door se mujhe ek truck aata hua nazar aaya. Main truck rukaane ke liye roller se utar ke guddu ki dukaan ke saamne aa gaya. Guddu ki nazar abhi tak laali par nahin padi thi. Truck tezi se badh raha tha…(in naam ki sadakon par agar in truck waalon ka yeh haal hai toh yeh soch ke hi dil ghabra jaata hai ki sadak banne ke baad yahan kya haalaat honge!) Truck lagbhag saamne aa hi gaya tha aur main usay rokne ke liye aage badh hi raha tha ki maine Guddu baamni ko chillate suna… “kutiya saali” aur maine jaise hi palat ke dekha toh Laali wahan se dum dabaa ke bhaag rahi thi…Guddu ketli haath mein liye gaaliyan bakk raha tha…laali ki cheekhein us dehekte sannate ko cheer rahi thi…main gusse mein guddu ki taraf badha ki laali ki cheekh ek ajeeb si kikiyahat ke saath band ho gayi…who tezi se badhta hua truck bhi break laga ke hamare saamne ruk gaya. Main thanda padh gaya, darte darte main palta toh kahaani khatm ho chuki thi…laali truck ke neeche aa chuki thi…sadak par bikhra khoon maano uske naam ko charitarth kar raha tha…mera dil baith gaya…mujhe truck waale pe bahut gussa aaya…main chillana chah raha tha par mere gale se awaz nahin nikal rahi thi…sirf apna hi thook ghoontein ja raha tha. Itne mein who truck wala neeche utar gaya. Main gusse mein mutthi bheenchkar aage badha hi tha ki tabhi mere kaanon mein fir ek mardana cheekh goonji… “hai raam…meri Laali ko maar diya…arey kameene kya bair tha tujhe us maasoom ki jaan se…mera Laali…laali…laali” yeh chillata hua Guddu apni dukaan se daud kar bahar aa gaya…woh ro raha tha..uski aankhon mein aansu thay aur aansu ke peeche gussa…main sann hoke sirf dekh raha tha…woh daud ke laali ke paas gaya aur rote rote jaise uske shav se baat karne laga “laali meri bachchi…yeh kya ho gaya bhagwan…” fir usne apne aansu ponchhein, baajuyein chadhai aur truck waale ka gala pakad liya…
“Haraam zaade…mere bachche ki tarah thi who…bachpan se paala tha maine usay…mere bachche ko kha gaya tu kameene”
“ohh bauji maine toh break mare thay…who daud ke saamne aa gayi..”
“sadak kya tere baap ki hai…ye Motadhank chauraay hai aur laali is chauraay ki maalkin…toone humse hamari laali chheen li…main teri ma…”
“Ohh bauji kutta hi toh…”
“teri jaat ka…saale khabardar jo laali ko kutta bola…theher, tu yahin theher…mera gandasa kahan hai…aaj is chauray par khoon bahega…laali ka khoon bahane wala agar sahi salamat is chauray se paar chala gaya toh thoo hai mujh par aur is gaon ke sabhi mardon par…kahan hai meri chaapad…”
Guddu baamani ka parshuram avatar aur yeh brahmanaad dekh kar main dang tha…mujhe nahin maaloom tha ki usay Laali se itna lagaav tha. Us bechare truck driver ki toh sitti pitti gum ho gayi, usne ro ke Guddu ke paon pakad liye:
“baoji maaf kar do mujhe…mere ghar mein do chhote bachche hainn…bauji meri biwi hai…bewa ho jaayegi…bauji aap devta hain bauji…maaf kar do”
Truck driver ko Guddu baamani mein devta nazar aa rahe thay…aa toh khair mujhe bhi rahe thay par donon ka sandarbh bhinn tha…lekin Guddu ne sakshat devta ki bhanti apne aapko sambhala…gusse ko thooka…aur truck driver ko utha ke gale laga liya…
“vidhi ke vidhaan ko kaun taal sakta hai…aaj main be-aulaad ho gaya hun lekin mujhe yeh haq nahin ki main kisi naari ko vidhwa ya kisi bachche ko anaath kar doon…ja bhai ja…main apni bhavnayein jyada der tak nahin rok paunga…isse pehle ki apni laali ko is dasha mein dekh ke mera khoon fir khaul jaaye aur main koi anarth kar baithoon…tu chala jaa yahan se…ja chala ja…”
Main mook darshak bana dekh raha tha… us truck driver se bhi jyada hairaan main tha…mujhe na hi Guddu ka who taandav samajh mein aaya tha na hi yeh satyagrah hi samajh aa raha tha…truck driver ke chehre par muskaan khil gayi…apne purkhon ko dhanyavaad karte huye usne Guddu ke raag alaapne shuru kar diye aur uske haath choomne laga… duaaien toh itni de raha tha maano truck mein duaayein hi laad ke le ja raha ho…par yeh sab karta bhi kyun nahin…Guddu ne uski jaan jo bakshi thi… Ye sab nibta ke who jaise hi jaane ke liye palta guddu ne fir uske kandhe par haath rakh diya.
“achchha sun”
“Ji bauji”
“Jee toh nahin chahta lekin…kuchh toh sharam kar…ek jaan li hai toone… zara bhi prayashchit bhaav hai tere andar ya nahin? Arey aur kuchh nahin yeh soch ki teri jaan bach gayi, tu bach gaya, teri biwi bewaa hone se bach gayi, tere bachche anaath hone se bach gaye, arey tera parivaar ujadne se bach gaya saale… gayi toh sirf meri laali na…”
“bauji…jo aap bolo…bauji”
“aisa kar meri laali ke kriya karm ka kharcha de ja”
“ji bauji???”
“arey ab apni iklauti beti ka kriyakarm bhi na karun kya main…waise toh khud haridwar mein poore riti riwaaz se iska antim sanskar karwaane ki ichchha hai meri…ek hi toh apni thi…lekin khair is punya mein bhagidaar ban kar main tujhe prayashcit karne ka mauka de raha hun…”
“Bauji meri jeb mein sirf 500”
“arey main tujhse paise thode hi maang raha hun bewaqoof… main tujhe 500 deta hun…la wapas de de mujhe meri laali”
“bauji aap yeh paise rakh lo..ek aarti meri taraf se bhi karwa dena”
Guddu ne usse paise lapak liye, par bahut anmane bhav ke saath maano lene ki ichchha na ho par uska dil rakhne ke liye le raha ho…paise jeb mein daalte hi Guddu ki zabaan se fir ek teer fire hua.
“Maal kya le ja raha hai gaadi mein”
“bauji cheeni hai’
“utaar de ek bori”
‘ji bauji?”
“abbey ji bauji ke bachche mere liye nahin… Haridwar mein pandon ko sava sava kilo toh chadhani padhegi na…shwaan hatya hai…ya banwa la chaandi ka ek kutta chadhane ke liye”
“ek bori se ho jaayega bauji? Dukaan mein rakhwa doon kya”
“aur nahin toh kya mere ghar le jaayega... chal tera toh pashchatap ho gaya…ab bas ek baap ka rota dil hi reh gaya hai’
Ye keh kar Guddu Baamani apni dukaan par laut gaya…peechhe peechhe cheeni ka ek bora bhi pahunch gaya…kuchh der mein woh truck wala bhi apne raaste nikal gaya…sadak par kuchh reh gaya tha toh maans ke ek lothade ki tarah laali…aur usi ki laash ki tarah chupchaap khada main.
Us raat maine gaon ke ladkon ke saath milkar laali ko guddu baamani ki tirpal ki ote mein dafna diya. Usay is baat ki bhanak tak nahin hai. Toh ab aap jab hamare gaon aayenge aur chauraay par utarenge…toh main aapko woh jagah bhi dikhla doonga jahan laali susta rahi hai…ji… us road roller ki tarah.

prayer

2007-06-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

Some years ago, when a near one lost a dear one, my (then) young mind was flooded with rage against the creator.

If it happens someday, sooner or later,
that i lose my life the sooner the better.
Confronted to God i have a few things to ask,
why is it always sorrow, behind every happy mask
You are god, you are great, you are supposed to be good
then why do you do things, which not even the devil would.
You hurt humans, you humiliate us
you 'show' that you are the almighty, you dictate us
why do you give laughter, when tears have to follow
when we think we are complete, you prove that we are hollow.
True you give us crutches, but its you who make us lame
of all the sorrows that we go through,
its you who's to blame
c'mon give up yaar, we know that you are strong,
stop manipulating our lives, u know that's wrong.
i mean...we call you 'GODD', isn't worshippin you enough?
or is it necessary to practice all the fake stuff.
Don't show me mercy, i don't beg you to
You have Fucked up y life,
and i will fuck yours too.
i am here to stay lissenup O 'Parmatma'
making your life tough, dead , iam an 'atma'
bu if you can,
just do one thing
all the people down there,
give them reasons to sing
bestow them, with joys and smiles.
happy humans wont cause you piles.
i have said what i had
you may do what you please,
middle fingers to you,
now lemme REST IN PEACE.

bliss

2007-06-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

This is one of my earliest attempts at english poetry, written during my first bike trip to Dhanaulty when i was in class 9th.

I'm looking for my heart, I'm searching for my soul,
I'm out on a ride, I'm out for a roll.
To find myself, discover the self in me,
To search my mind bring out the best in me.
Hands reaching for spirituality ,
feet on the grounds of reality,
away from the noise ...worldly commotion,
diving in the oceans of deepest emotions
it feels so great when you feel...
your once hurt soul is now being healed.
my mind is all set...the heart so free,
clearly through the dark now i can see.
taking a flight , flying real high,
without wings of desire, reaching for the sky.
seeds of satisfaction sprouting up inside,
neither rules to follow nor regulations to abide.
giving loud calls, stretching arms out,
no one to stare no one to shout.
just me and myself, in my own company,
singing songs of joy in solemn symphony.
man in the mirror is nowhere to be seen,
since the day insider ...revealed and outseen.
Hopes floating desires flying,
pure bliss...no denying.